Treat yourself to a turn down service

What makes a good speech? I have my pen, I have my paper but my page is still blank. Okay, I lie, it’s not blank. I’ve done a few scratches to get the ink rolling and a few doodles to try and help the words come out. I have three weeks; three weeks to write a cracking Maid of Honour speech. And not just any old Maid of Honour speech; I am chasing the perfect combination of light and warm, witty and embarrassing - the kind of speech people talk about for weeks after the wedding. You see friends, it’s a speech about my baby sister who’s marrying the love of her life. How does one condense 31 years of affection, frustration, rivalry and friendship into, as my sister keeps reminding me, a “neat three to five minutes please”. Any tips? Any pointers?

I saw a reel on Insta recently - for the life of me I can’t find it again - about a business woman who worked from home, who, at the end of the day, “treated” herself to a nightly turn down service. You know, just like in the fancy hotels and r…